How To Be A Necromancer

So you’ve decided to be a necromancer? Congratulations! Deciding to become a necromancer is the first step. Now that you have made the decision though, certain responsibilities will follow. First of all, you want to be sure you’re raising people you actually want to bring back to life. Remember that it took many years for the world to get rid of the likes of Jim Varney and Hitler. So, don’t just go raising anyone from the dead without considering the potential consequences.

Only raise people/animals that you are sure you can control, and whom you are comfortable rereleasing into the world. Locating a body can be of some trouble as well. Not all graveyards are open at all hours. So, you’re going to need to do a bit of research. Obviously raising a corpse in broad daylight isn’t going to be the safest bet. Therefor, it is my professional recommendation that most necromancing be done in an isolated location, or under the cover of night.

After you have chosen your subject, ensure that you are ready for them to be around. There is nothing worse than raising the undead only to remember that your girlfriend is on her way over to watch the notebook. Be sure that you have ample time to devote to your recently raised subject, as they will be looking to you for guidance and answers.

Lastly, be sure you look the part. No one wants to take orders from a complete nerdlinger, magic spell or not. Put on your best outfit. Ideally, something that commands respect. Remember, you’ve got the power to raise the dead, but controlling them to do your bidding is a whole different story. Immediately upon raising them you want to make a good impression to ensure that your subject knows who is the boss.

Otherwise, you could find yourself the first to be attacked. Keeping all of this in mind, the most important thing to remember. Have fun! If someone gets away from you, or has muscles too eroded to properly pummel your target, just remember that there’s always the next grave.

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